Elves are Antisocial
by Wednesdayite13
Summary: Sequel to "Exterminate!" Another faulty time machine later, the group end up in Rivendell. Vampirella says elves are antisocial, Legolas begs to differ
1. Chapter 1

_One ring to rule them all_

_One ring to find them_

_One ring to bring them all_

_And in the darkness bind them_

_In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie_

* * *

Vampirella realised something was missing. Something important. "The Iron Ferret is still in Kaon!" She yelled, startling the poor elf sat next to her.

"You're right." Shockwave noticed also.

"Oh yes, how is the Iron Ferret now?" Perceptor asked. He was the one who built the time machine in the first place, and was also the one to fix it every time Vampirella accidentally spilled cornflakes all over the console.

She didn't even like cornflakes.

"See for yourself."

They ran out of the rusty blue and white flagship.

"Initiate self destruct!"

The explosion behind them pushed they all forward. The noise was almost enough to blow the Cybertronians' audio receptors.

Pushing himself up, Soundwave looked behind him where the explosion happened. "H-How..."

"There was one surviving Dalek." Shockwave realised, resisting the urge to face palm. "We only temporarily disabled it, didn't we?"

Just seconds before the explosion, the Doctor returned the knights to their own time. He would get a surprise when he returned.

"Oh yeah." Vampirella remembered. "They have a habit of self destructing."

"You know-" Jazz stated, annoyance in his voice. "-that would have been good to know."

"You mean you didn't know that?" Skywarp asked. "All this time you were allies, and you didn't know that."

"We didn't know much about them." Soundwave told his seeker friend. "Why do you think I never trusted them?"

* * *

_Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky_

_Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone_

_Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die_

_One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne_

_In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie_

* * *

"Well at least none of ours would dare attack." Vampirella looked on the bright side. "The Elite Guard are Decepticon-based now."

Shockwave nodded. "Yeah, most of Cybertron are Decepticon-based now."

"Looks like you got what you wanted." Jazz muttered, coldly.

Soundwave stopped, almost making First Aid walk into him. "That's not what we wanted!"

"Well most Autobots would disagree." Perceptor stated.

Vampirella looked over to Legolas, who looked really uneasy and nervous. "Can we argue later? I just wanna get to the Iron Ferret before someone else does."

"Like anyone else could open it." Shockwave retorted. "The entrance code is too complicated."

"Pi to the 9th decimal place is not complicated!"

"Yes, yes it is."

"It is for any non-saddo like yourself." Mirage added.

Stepping out of the T.A.R.D.I.S, what they saw was nothing like what they expected.

"This is not Camelot." Sir Leon stated.

"No." The Doctor conformed. "No it isn't…"

There were stood on the edge of a narrow river, surrounded by moorlands and foothills. They noticed the weather was pretty mild, unlike Cybertron where the weather was indescribable. Beyond the river was a fast flowing waterfall.

"I'm telling you. Apart from the crazy Dalek statue, Kaon hasn't changed much." Vampirella said.

Jazz looked up. "When did that happen?"

"You didn't know that was there?" Shockwave asked.

The ninja shook his head. "No."


	2. Chapter 2

"We need that Time Lord tech." Vampirella examined the console while mentally deciding where to go. "The Iron Ferret is huge."

"Well if you figure it out, feel free to tell me." Perceptor stated, smiling slightly.

"Oh, what's this? Don't you know it?"

The scientist shrugged. "No, I know it. I just look forward to you trying to explain it."

"So where should we go?" Shockwave asked.

"Somevhere to find ein new ship." Blitzwing was leaning against the wall.

The opening from Superstar, the famous Jesus Christ Superstar song, started playing. Vampirella answered her phone. "Hello?"

It was the Doctor. He had a phone in the T.A.R.D.I.S. now. "Ever heard of Rivendell?"

**(AN:/ Insert dramatic Dr Who music here.)**

Vampirella immediately looked at Legolas, repeating what the Doctor had just said. "Rivendell?"

That caught the Elf's attention. "What about Rivendell?"

"Yeah, what about Rivendell?" She asked down the phone.

"We're in Rivendell now." The Doctor replied in his usual, casual voice.

"They're in Rivendell." She said to Legolas, before warning the Time Lord. "Be careful, Elves are really antisocial."

"We are not!" Legolas protested.

"OK. Elves and Dwarves hate each other. So di Elves and Men. Just saying, Elves are antisocial." She justified her point.

"We are not antisocial; we just do not trust anyone!"

Vampirella paused. "So you're antisocial."

Shockwave walked up to the Iron Ferret console. "Well, at least we know where we're going."

* * *

"Wait, which time period are they in?" First Aid asked.

Vampirella paused. "I have no idea." She rang up the Doctor again. "Which time period?"

"The same time period as when we left." He answered.

"OK." She hung up. "They didn't travel in time at all, just space."

"Faulty time machines; there seems to be a theme here." Knockout pointed out.

The Iron Ferret was powered up…

"What's so bad about Rivendell?" Merlin asked.

"It's not Rivendell itself." The Doctor explained. "It's the people in it."

Merlin was about to ask what the problem was, when the Iron Ferret appeared beside the T.A.R.D.I.S.

"Elves are antisocial." Vampirella told them, stepping out.

Followed by Legolas, who continued to protest. "We are not!"

"I hate to disagree Legolas, but you are." The Doctor sided with Vampirella, who smiled.

"Told ya."

Legolas sighed. "Elves just…dislike…the company…of…yeah you're right, we're antisocial."

Vampirella gave a cry of triumph.

"Well Mirkwood is-" Vampirella pointed to the left. "-that way. Don't go there."

Shockwave glanced inside the time machine. "Oh now I see why you're still here."

The console was black and covered in a soot-like substance. Sparks were flying everywhere.

"That happened while we were outside…" The Doctor told him.

Before they knew it, Legolas speedily had a firm grip on his bow and was aiming at…

…at…

An Orc.

"Oh scrap!" Vampirella yelled, powering up her weapon.

Legolas shot.

"What was that?!" Jazz yelled.

"An Orc." Shockwave replied. "Which means there must me more around here somewhere."

"Yeah, we don't stand a chance." Vampirella was no good at saving people from worrying.

"We need to move." Shockwave whispered.

Vampirella turned to Legolas. "Is it worth it?"

He paused, wondering if it was worth it himself. "Only if you do not mind starting up an argument with them. Do not take it personally, they just might not…trust you."

"Because they're antisocial." Vampirella said under her breath.

Blurr smiled a little. "Trust-me-she-likes-her-arguments."

Vampirella nodded, eagerly.

"Is what worth it?" Arthur asked, hoping he wouldn't have to regret it.

"Going to Mirkwood."


	3. Chapter 3

**Yes they're all there now. Don't diss. They're there because I say so.**

* * *

"Is there any sign?" Thranduil asked.

"Regrettably not, my king." Replied one of the Elves who had just returned from a patrol.

Thranduil sighed. The Prince of Mirkwood had been missing for three weeks. He missed his son.

"There was, however, a mysterious blue box that, apparently, just…appeared."

Thranduil didn't know how to respond to that but, luckily, he didn't have to. The owner of the blue box ran down the pathway with the Knights of Camelot, the new Elite Guard and…

…the Prince of Mirkwood.

"Just thought you might like to know, Orcs are near." Vampirella stated, calmly.

That statement must have completely bypassed the Elven King. His eyes were fixed on his son. "Legolas."

"Ada!" He yelled. The two ran to embrace each other, not caring what any of the others Elves thought.

"Legolas, where have you been?"

"I…do not quite know…"

"Who are your…friends?"

The elf looked back. "Feel free to introduce yourselves."

Vampirella turned and looked at just how many people there were. "Are you sure? I mean, Orcs. You know. We'll be here all day." She came to the conclusion that there were a lot of people there.

"Hold on...how do you know what they are?" Skywarp asked.

"Oh I dabbled in Elvish stuff and Orcs came up." She explained. "I just kinda assumed. Legolas shooting one kinda helped."

"So an elf shot someone." Said First Aid. "It could have been a Dwarf or a _Man _or any other living thing."

Legolas sighed. "Please ignore them."

"OK! It was a lucky guess!" Vampirella yelled.

Legolas put his hands on Vampirella's shoulders and spun her round, pointing at the army approaching.

"Oh I forgot they were here."

He rolled his eyes. "You don't say."

"Tell me again, Legolas." Said Thranduil. "Where did you find these...whoever they are?"

"It was not my choice." The prince replied.

Turning away from the Orcs, who were still a fair way from Mirkwood, Jazz said to Legolas. "OK so I know you people don't trust anyone coz you're so antisocial and don't try to deny it. Just say a group of alien robots came to Mirkwood, how exactly would they react?"

Legolas smiled. "And you are just supposing?"

"Yes."

"Well it will depend. If this _'group of alien robots'_ help to defend Mirkwood from the Orcs, they may warm up to you."

The ninja smiled and turned back to Vampirella. "Shall we?"

She nodded. "Let's shall."

* * *

**Warning: Bad fight scene ahead. Not graphic or anything. Just really really badly written probably.**

* * *

Vampirella, after quickly studying the oncoming Orcs, drew her sword and stood alongside the knights.

"Anything we should know about them?" Gwaine asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know much about them." She then turned to Legolas and repeated the question. "Anything we should know about them?"

The elf just smiled, raising his bow. "If it's twitching, it's not dead." He shot an arrow, piercing the Orc. "One already. Good luck."

The vampire smiled and stabbed one, watching it fall limp to the floor. "I got one!"

Soundwave lived up to his name. He created sound waves, knocking some Orcs back. They hit a wall hard. Quickly, he counted. "Three."

"I got another!" They heard Legolas shout. "That's two!"

Jazz was about to shoot one when he saw an Orc head rolling towards him. He looked up to see a smiling Gwaine. "That's my fourth."

"Seven!" Legolas cried.

Stabbing Vampirella's third, she yelled. "How did seven happen?"

Jetfire and Jetstorm were surrounded by Orcs. Not a problem. Their fire tornado soon sorted that problem. "Twenty-seven." They both yelled together.

An Orc ran towards Skywarp, but Blitzwing froze it. "Zhat's 12."

Vampirella threw her sword like a boomerang. "Seven!" She yelled like Len Goodman before using processor over matter to bring her sword back.

"Thirteen!" Jazz yelled from nowhere.

"Impressive." Jazz heard Perceptor shout, probably somewhere from the group of Orcs who suddenly all fell back. "That's twenty-two."

An Orc was about to stab Leon in the back, but Arthur ran up. "Twenty-eight."

"Thirty-seven." Legolas yelled, shooting another Orc with an arrow. "Thirty-eight."

* * *

"And how do you plan to return to your own time?" Thranduil asked.

"Why? Not enjoying our company?" The Doctor asked, sarcastically.

* * *

There was just one Orc left. Miraculously, everyone was on the same count: forty-one. They all eyed the remaining Orc. Everything was tense.

Legolas raised his bow while Gwaine raised his sword. Blaster powered up his weapon. Shockwave got ready to produce his electric shocks. **(AN:/ Yes, he does that now.) **Soundwave started up his sound waves and Knockout powered up his electro-staff.

None of them knew that an invisible Mirage was right behind him, ready to make his attack.

He never got that far.

Making himself visible, he yelled. "He was mine!"

Legolas smiled, lowering his bow. "Key word: was."

* * *

**Longest chapter yet with a 849 word count!**


	4. Chapter 4

"How did you do?" The Doctor asked.

"He stole my kill!" Mirage glared at Legolas.

The elf smiled. "I win."

"We had a kill count. We never specified who." Mirage threatened in a joking way.

"Anyway, how long have I been missing?" Legolas asked.

"According to Thranduil, three weeks." The Doctor told the elf.

"THREE WEEKS?!"

Vampirella sat on the steps and began to sharpen her sword. "Hey, with our time travel, be glad it's not years."

"So, erm...vhat vere zhey exactly?" Blitzwing asked. "I mean jou _dabbled _in this stuff."

"Oh well...they're like...you know...shut up." Was Vampirella's response.

"OK not that this wasn't fun." Arthur began.

"But we really need to get back." Merlin finished.

"I can attempt to take you back with the Iron Ferret." Vampirella offered. "But the Doctor won't leave without the T.A.R.D.I.S."

The Time Lord nodded. "Too right."

The vampire turned to Legolas. "I can't remember how to get back to Rivendell."

"So-you-can-get-from-Rivendell-to-Mirkwood-but-you-can't-get-back-again?" Blurr asked.

"Look, the highlight of her week was finding a pine-cone in her sack of potatoes." Jazz said. "So just be glad we got here at all."

"The sack was fully closed!" Vampirella yelled. "I opened it and there was a pine-cone just sitting there like he owned the place."

"Oh so the pine-cone is a he now?" Perceptor laughed.

Giving up on the pine-cone story, First Aid turned to the Elven king. "So you're like hundreds of years old, right? Why haven't you people been able to invent your own version of a TV or something?"

"You know, I've been wondering the same thing." Said Vampirella.

"We don't have _TV, _they don't know what that is." Legolas reminded them.

"A screen on which images move." The vampire explained in a tone which a person would use on a three year old.

"If someone did invent a TV here-" Jazz sat beside Vampirella who was now cleaning her sword. "-they wouldn't trust them anyway and why did you sharpen **then **clean that?"

She shrugged. "Because."

"Are we back at antisocial again?" Legolas asked. He walked down the steps and began to pull his arrows out of the dead Orcs. "And besides, we have much better means of entertainment."

"Oh yes." Vampirella put away her sword. "You sing and talk to trees."

"We do not talk to the trees!" Legolas protested. "The trees talk and we eavesdrop."

"Oh well that's OK then." Vampirella said sarcastically.

Leon sighed and rolled his eyes impatiently. "Can we go yet?"

"Show us the way back?" Jazz asked Legolas pleadingly.

He just glared at Vampirella. "I am not sure I should."

Mirage locked his optics on Legolas. "I'm still kill counting."

Legolas stood. "Rivendell is in the general that direction." He pointed straight on.

Vampirella folded her arms in a joking frustrating way. "That's my thing, don't steal my thing."

"I will show you the way _**only**_because your knight friends need to return to Camelot."

"Oh nice, why do it for them?" The Doctor asked.

"Because they know when to shut up."

"Legolas." He turned around when he heard Thranduil's voice. "Please try to come back this time."

He smiled. "I will certainly try."

* * *

They were following a long and winding path, seemingly never ending.

"Are we there yet?" Vampirella whined.

"We will get there when we get there." Knockout said through gritted teeth.

It was getting pretty dark. They knew there was a cave nearby, which they decided to avoid.

Blitzwing came to a sudden halt.

"What's now?!" Jazz asked, impatient.

"I thought I saw something." There was a hint of fear in his voice.

Hearing something, Shockwave turned around. "Erm, you did."

Blitzwing also turned around. It was...

"Giant spider thing." He back away slowly.

Legolas immediately reached for his bow and slowly aimed it at the giant spider following them.

"Aww that's so cute." Vampirella sounded as if she was talking to a fluffy kitten or a tiny Labrador puppy.

The elf sighed. "Step away from the spider."

"It's adorable."

"I'm serious."

"I wanna poke it."

"No V you-"

"I wanna poke it!"

"Move back or it will eat you!" He yelled, provoking the spider to move forward faster.

"It bites? Aww!"

The spider ran.

"RUN!" He yelled.

Luckily for them, the spider was much slower than they were. They ran towards a gap in the cave. The spider nearly caught up with them. It lashed out at Legolas but they ran through the gap before any serious damage could be done.

When they were certain they were far enough, First Aid turned to Legolas who was clutching at his arm. "Let me see."


	5. Chapter 5

Reluctantly, Legolas rolled up his sleeve. His left arm was badly bruised, but there was no bleeding. Legolas winced and fought the urge to pull away when First Aid felt his arm to see if it was broken.

The sound of rocks falling echoed. Perceptor looked back. "Spider!"

"Spider?" Blitzwing repeated.

"I will be fine." Legolas told First Aid. "We need to move."

Normally, First Aid would protest but he didn't really fancy hanging around to be eaten by a giant spider. "Alright."

"Her name's Shelob." Vampirella stated.

"How do you know?" Gwaine asked.

"I just read her mind. Also she wants to eat us."

"Wow, whatever gave you that idea?" Jazz asked sarcastically.

Shelob was closing up on them. They ran.

* * *

After what seemed like hours, they reached the other side of the cave where they was a gap large enough for them to crawl through. In fact, to save time, the fliers flew through. Jazz's flexibility meant he was pretty quick too. Same with Blurr and Knockout's speed. First Aid, Mirage and Blaster helped each other through. From the other side, Mirage reached for Legolas.

Shelob was in view.

Panicking, and forgetting his injury, Legolas reached out his left arm. Not wanting to waste any time, Mirage grabbed his arm and pulled him up, making the poor elf scream.

"Sorry."

Finally out of the cave, Legolas tried to flex his hand but found out he couldn't. "It is OK. Thank you."

Vampirella noticed his attempt to flex his hand. She turned to First Aid and Knockout. "I think something's up."

"I'm fine." Legolas tried to persuade them, not liking all the attention.

"Really?" Vampirella asked. "Move your hand."

Legolas sighed. "We need to get going."

"If you can't move your hand, you can't shoot arrows." Skywarp said, concerned.

"If we hurry, I might not have to."

"He has a point." The Doctor tried to urge them to get moving. "We should keep going."

* * *

"Sweet time machines!" Vampirella yelled when she saw the T.A.R.D.I.S. and the Iron Ferret. "And the T.A.R.D.I.S. fixed itself?"

"It must have been 24 hours." The Doctor stated casually, before turning to the knights. "Want me to take you back to Camelot?"

"Please." This was the first thing Mordred had said in a while. He sounded tired and ultimately fed up.

The Doctor and the knights stepped into the T.A.R.D.I.S. "See you around?" Leon asked, turning back.

Vampirella and Shockwave nodded. "Sure."

"See thee."

The Doctor ran back to the T.A.R.D.I.S. entrance. "Legolas, you haven't seen this yet have you?"

"Seen what?" He asked.

"Just watch." He closed the doors again and Legolas waited.

The T.A.R.D.I.S. did it's usual trick. He gasped in amazement. "Wow."

"Since it will take quite a few attempts to actually get back, we should probably go soon." Shockwave recommended.

Soundwave was about to agree when he saw Legolas stagger back a little. "Legolas?"

"Hm?"

"Are you OK?" He asked.

"I-I'm fine." Truthfully, Legolas was feeling a little faint.

"You're clearly not." Blaster also noticed.

Legolas put his hand on a rock to try and steady himself. "It was just a bruise!"

"Yes which is exactly why you're not fine." The medic in Vampirella was showing. **(AN:/ Vampirella being a medic. There isn't a medic inside Vampirella. :D) **

To Legolas, it looked like everything around him was spinning as he tried to keep himself upright...

...but failed epically...

...he collapsed.

* * *

**Epically is a word now**

**Important info: Transform Beast Hunters premiers on 15th February. First episode: Lost & Found. (They stole Animated)**


	6. Chapter 6

"Hurry up or we'll be late!" Frodo yelled, his voice practically heard throughout the entire Shire. "And if we're late, we'll miss the fireworks!"

Merry and Pippin were running around getting themselves ready while at the same time rushing their elevenses.

Samwise was waiting outside, about to knock when he heard Frodo shout. "Hurry up or I'll leave without you!"

Finally finishing their third meal of the day so far, Merry and Pippin pushed past Frodo and ran down the steps, not even noticing Samwise who was now face down on a bush.

"Oops, sorry." Merry apologized, trying his best to conceal a laugh.

Laughing himself, Frodo helped his friend up.

"Hurry up or we'll be late!" Pippin yelled.

"I swear I just said that." Frodo complained under his breath.

* * *

Legolas' breath was slow and raspy. Clearly there was more to this bruise than meets the eye. **(AN:/ Yeah, I said it and I'm proud.) **

"OK I think he's bleeding internally." Vampirella suggested, quickly examining the elf's arm. "But we won't have to do much. Elves have like awesome healing powers which I've always been jealous of. I mean imagine an elf with Fibromyalgia."

Before Vampirella could go off on one of her many wonders, Jazz asked. "Yeah but that's not normal, is it?"

"Aww come on, give me **_some _**credit! You know I didn't pay much attention during medic training!"

Knockout sighed and knelt beside the unconscious elf with First Aid.

* * *

"If everything worked out, you have only been gone for a day." The Doctor said, opening the doors to the T.A.R.D.I.S.

Arthur sighed. "Well, I guess I'm about to give a few people quite a scare."

"Wait." Merlin did a full 360 degrees turn. "Where's Mordred?"

* * *

The fireworks were better every year. The four Hobbits kept their eye out for the wizard responsible.

"Is it just me, or has it suddenly got darker?" Merry asked, looking up at the sky.

There was a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder. The Hobbits ran back towards the their home as it rained heavily. There was something amiss, however. No clouds.

"It's only rain." They heard one Hobbit complain.

"A little rain never hurt anyone." Complained another.

The four turned back and soon wished they hadn't. Both of the Hobbits that had complained were struck by a freak lightning strike, leaving them as mere piles of ash.

"RUN!" Frodo yelled.

* * *

Soundwave sighed. "Just our luck."

It didn't take long for them all to be completely soaked.

"C-Clouds." Evidently, Legolas was awake.

"Huh?" Vampirella looked up and realized what he was talking about.

"N-No clouds."

Lightning struck just beside Blitzwing, making him scream and fall back. Another was about to hit them, but Knockout activated his shield. A third strike short circuited his shield.

"We need shelter!" Shockwave yelled.

Legolas tried to push himself up, but fell back down again. His arms were too weak.

A fourth lightning strike was about to hit them, but Jazz managed to use processor over matter to hold it off.

Trying to hide her amazement, Vampirella looked up at the form of electricity over their heads. "You can do that?"

"Apparently so." Jazz replied while never loosing focus. "I can't hold it for long!"

* * *

**I can't not have Frodo. He's adorable.**

**And where _is _Mordred?**


	7. Chapter 7

**I can't remember how I wrote the phone call last time and my laptop's being too dodgy to check so I'm gonna say that **"_howdy doodly doo._" **is the other side of the phone call if that makes sense.**

* * *

Being careful not to cause any further injuries, Shockwave helped Legolas stand.

"I'm losing it!" Jazz yelled.

"You lost it stellar cycles ago Jazz." Vampirella walked forwards so she was directly under the lightning bolt. "What do you think would happen if you mixed lightning with sound waves and electric shocks?"

Soundwave shrugged. "I have no idea but I want to find out." He joined Vampirella under the lightning bolt.

First Aid took over from Shockwave, helping Legolas to remain standing, as Shockwave went and stood beside Jazz.

Shockwave and Soundwave raised their servos. **(AN:/ See what I mean by _like magic but isn't_?)  
**

Vampirella braced herself. "Ready?"

They nodded.

Jazz pulled away.

* * *

Frodo slammed the door behind him, before leaning back and sliding down it, relieved.

"Why are you so shaken?" Pippin asked. "It was only a little rain."

"It isn't just that." Frodo replied, shaken. "Didn't you notice? There were no clouds."

"No clouds?" Merry repeated.

* * *

Jazz was the first to wake up. He reached for a pebble and threw it at Vampirella, waking her up too.

"Never do that again!" He yelled.

She sat up groggily. "OK. Maybe that wasn't the best plan."

"At least it was just a mini explosion." Jetfire defended Vampirella, who, with Jetstorm, had just regained consciousness.

"Yeah, at least we weren't all electrocuted." Jetstorm added.

Shockwave slowly and shaking sat up, glaring at Vampirella. "Oh someone might." He threatened.

* * *

"If Mordred is not here-" Said Gwaine. "-that means..."

"But he wanted to get back too." Merlin reminded them. "Why would he stay?"

Leon turned to the Doctor. "If they don't know, you need to warn them."

Wordless, the Time Lord ran inside the T.A.R.D.I.S.

* * *

Theme From Harry's Game by Clannad started playing. Vampirella reached for her mobile.

"When did you change your ringtone?" Perceptor asked.

"When we were in Mirkwood." She replied, answering her phone.

"Why?" Skywarp asked.

She shrugged. "It sounds Elvish. Hello?"

"_Hello. Just thought you should know...Mordred isn't with us._"

Vampirella froze. If Mordred wasn't with them...that meant...and what if he was...

She looked up at the sky. It was still cloudless yet rainy, but there was no more lightning. "Thanks." She hung up. "Mordred isn't in Camelot."

"Wh-Which one was Mordred?" Legolas asked, laying weakly and breathlessly on his side, blonde hair covering half of his face.

"Zhe dark haired shy one." Blitzwing told him.

"We can focus on Mordred later." Shockwave said, watching Legolas with concern.

The elf sighed. "I'm-" He winced as he tried to move. "-fine."

"You bruised your arm and then you collapsed." Vampirella reminded him. "You're not fine."

Mirage looked up. "It's still raining."

"We still need shelter." Blaster looked around, but the only place for shelter was where they had just came.

"Well the second I find the Iron Ferret key, we can get shelter in there." Vampirella said, fishing around her pockets.

"A-as soon as you find th-the key, w-we can leave!" Legolas winced as he tried to move again. He wasn't going to let a simple injury stop him. Even if he did pass out. And besides, he wasn't about to tell _them_ why.

Vampirella paused. "You mean you don't want to stay here?"

"No! I-I've seen more in the...last few days...than I have my...entire life...a-and...th-this place bores me."

"V hurry up and find that slagging key." Mirage seemed spooked by something.

"SPIDER!" Blitzwing yelled.

"FORGET-THE-SLAGGING-KEY!" Blurr yelled in a panicked tone. He ran to the doors of the Iron Ferret and began to pick the lock.

"Hurry!" Shockwave yelled.

The latch opened, revealing the code pads. Vampirella entered the code: 3.141592654 **(AN:/ Don't judge.) **

Soundwave and First Aid helped Legolas stand as they all ran into the Iron Ferret. Blaster was last in so he slammed the door behind him. Vampirella ran to the console...

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh? Why uh oh? Uh oh's never a good thing!" Mirage yelled in a panicked tone.

"We've lost power!"

There was a banging outside. The time machine began to rock back and forth. Legolas screamed as he fell onto the side of a wall, putting unwanted pressure on his arm.

Soundwave froze as he realized something. "We're on a hill, aren't we?"

They heard the sounds of rocks falling from the edge. Vampirella got up an image from outside on a screen. "WE'RE GONNA FALL!"

They did.

Vampirella, Perceptor, First Aid, Shockwave and Mirage clung onto the side of the console as the Iron Ferret fell from the top of the hill, denting and scraping all the way down. Jetfire and Jetstorm hold on to the rails while Blaster, Soundwave, Jazz and Blurr fell to the floor. Legolas was about to fall too when Blitzwing and Skywarp held onto the rails themselves and grabbed hold of the elf's undamaged arm.

Shockwave started up an electric shock and pressed his servo into the console. The shocks were visible all through his arm.

The console lit up as it gained power. Before hitting the ground, Vampirella typed in some random coordinates. Anywhere was better than there.

Right?


	8. Chapter 8

"Where are we?" Soundwave asked as the Iron Ferret came to a stop.

"I don't know." Vampirella replied. "I panicked."

First Aid opened the doors and stepped outside. "It looks like something from the Teletubbies."

Legolas didn't have enough strength left to stand up, so he rolled over to see outside. "We barely moved." He complained.

"You know where we are?" Vampirella asked.

"I've never been here...but I've heard about it...it's the Shire."

Shockwave slowly lifted his head. "The Hobbit place?"

Jazz gasped. "Oh Primus are you OK?"

"I'm OK." He lied. "A-And if you want my advice...never do that!"

Legolas smiled a little. "Thanks for clearing that up."

* * *

Pippin was looking outside when the Iron Ferret appeared. "How did that happen?"

"How did what happen?" Merry asked, joining him at the window.

"That...thing. It just appeared."

"What thing?" Frodo asked.

Pippin pointed at the strange metallic object. "That thing."

* * *

"According to the monitors-" Vampirella, still a little dizzy, was holding onto the monitor firmly so she didn't fall. "-we haven't moved in time. At all." She let go and staggered forwards a little, waiting for the room to stop spinning. "That was all rather pointless."

Legolas finally managed to push himself up and stepped outside, still feeling a little faint.

"That was your fault." First Aid joked.

Legolas put his hand over his heard mockingly. "How is it my fault?"

"You said you get bored easily. You wanted something to happen!"

Jazz joined them outside. "Yes that's true actually."

"So how's your arm anyway?" Skywarp asked, nearly slipping off the step.

The elf sighed. "OK I **was **bleeding internally and that's why I passed out but I'm fine now." He flexed his hand and moved his arm to prove a point.

"I envy your healing powers." Vampirella yelled, helping Shockwave up.

Legolas laughed.

* * *

"People are stepping out." Frodo noticed.

Samwise opened the door. "It's stopped raining." He ran outside.

"SAM!" Frodo yelled, running after him.

* * *

Stepping outside, Vampirella shook her wet hair like a dog would do when it's still in the bath or a lake expecting to get dry. She then actually pulled her hair and wrung it out like a wet dishcloth.

"Sam!" They heard someone yell.

Frodo finally caught up with Sam and pulled him back. "What are you doing?!"

"I want to know who they are!"

Against her better judgement, Vampirella approached them. "Hey. Was it raining here earlier?"

Backing away slightly, Frodo nodded.

"And were there...any clouds?"

He shook his head, still not saying a word.

"Lightning?"

"Yes." Frodo finally said. "How do you know?"

Vampirella didn't answer, she just turned back to the others. "You know, I don't think this is Mordred. It isn't like him. It's too...overdramatic."

"Then who?" Shockwave asked.

The vampire shrugged. "It's more Morgana-like."

"But she's dead." Shockwave reminded her.

"Who's Morgana?" Perceptor asked.

"Legend calls her Morgan le Fey." The current second in command replied.

Confused, Vampirella did a full circle, studying that part of the Shire, before bending down and putting a servo on the ground. "It's not wet."

"So it was most definitely magic." Shockwave made clear.

The vampire nodded.

"So who are you?" One of the Hobbits, the one who was referred to as Sam, asked.

"Erm, we're..." Vampirella paused, thinking of the best way to explain. "...Autonomous robotic organisms and/or deceptive con artists from the planet Cybertron. But you can call us randomers who appeared in your Shire in a giant metallic Ferret for short."

Legolas laughed a little. "I apologize for...them." He said awkwardly. "I am Legolas. I am yet to learn all of their names since they never actually introduced themselves."

"We're used to people knowing who we are." Shockwave defended themselves.

"Yeah." Vampirella backed him up. "Cybertron know who were are and Earth couldn't care less. I'm the only one who ever goes to Thundera or Asgard and you have no idea what those planets are so I'm gonna shut up now."

"You...You're not from around here." Pippin stated.

"They understood you." Soundwave just realized.

Legoals nodded. "I am speaking your language now."

"But you...you didn't...alright then."

"Yeah a dodgy Iron Ferret thing wipes the dodgy T.A.R.D.I.S. thing." Vampirella told them. "Don't ask."

Soundwave sighed. "Wasn't planning to."

* * *

Vampirella was sorting out the dents and scrapes on the time machine. "Hey Jazz, I need your nun-chucky things."

Throwing his nun-chucks to his cousin, Jazz said. "No need for the extra letters."

"Thanks." Vampirella caught the nun-chucks in her right servo, turned back to the Iron Ferret and began pounding out dents.

Jazz stared for a while before shaking his head. "That's one way to do it."

"Why are they here?" Frodo asked.

"It's...a long story." Legolas tried to explain. "I somehow ended up on their planet...And we...ended up back here? This is too coincidental."

"I think this thing's drawn to something." Vampirella stated, running her fingers down the new scrapes. "And the dents are gone, thanks for that." She threw back the scratched nun-chucks.

Jazz caught them. "No...problem..."

"You think something wanted us to be here?" First Aid asked.

Vampirella shrugged. "It's possible. I mean recap. Finally back on Cybertron, a faulty space bridge brought the prince of Mirkwood to Cybertron. Then, after randomly travelling wherever, we ended up in Rivendell which is within walking distance of Mirkwood. After putting in random coordinates, we ended up here. It was highly unlikely for us to even stay on the same planet."

"And not only that." Shockwave added. "But from Cybertron to here, we never traveled in time."

"You're right." Vampirella gave up on fixing the scratches. "This is too coincidental."

* * *

**Wow. 1,000 words exactly (not including this bit)**


	9. Chapter 9

Three days later...

"My arm feels funny." Shockwave complained.

They were sat outside the Iron Ferret, which had not moved since they arrived. It was broken yet again. The electric shocks were really just a temporary thing.

Perceptor was working on it, but so far had no luck.

The night before, Frodo overheard Vampirella complain that she was going through cheese withdrawal. Now it was morning, he walked over to her. "I brought you something."

"CHEESE!" She yelled, getting up and hugging the Hobbit. "Thank you!"

Blitzwing laughed. "Jou have no idea vhat jou have gotten jourself into." He warned Frodo, knowing all too well that Vampirella would never shut up about the cheese now.

"At least your music is bearable." Soundwave and Legolas were having a completely different conversation.

"Why? What is your music like?" The elf asked.

"V!" Soundwave yelled. "Sing JLS."

"_Everybody in love, come put your hands up. Everybody in love, come put your hands up. Everybody in love, come put your hands up. If you're in love put your hands up._"

Legolas laughed. "Wow, those lyrics are so complex."

"We do have some decent music." Vampirella complained, joining in their conversation. "I mean there's Iron Maiden. Queen. Linkin Park. Bon Jovi. Scissor Sisters. Airbourne. Aerosmith. Ocean Colour Scene. Thunder. Whitesnake. Journey. Europe-"

"Oh yes." Soundwave nodded. "Because singing about Kiki is amazing."

"And, of course." Knockout smiled, glad that an opportunity like this rose. "There is that one song which pretty much sums up your Saturdays."

Shockwave laughed. "Yes. How does it go? _All the right friends in all the wrong places. So yeah, you're going down._"

A football reference. Knockout and Shockwave were fans of a team which rivaled Vampirella's.

"Well now you have the Riverboat song in our heads so thanks a lot." Jetstorm complained.

"Tim Minchin!" Vampirella yelled. "_I love cheese but it's plain to see that cheese doesn't love me._"

"I like The Yellow Thing." Skywarp stated.

"The Yellow Thing?" First Aid asked.

Vampirella sang a verse of The Yellow Thing for them. It was in the style of country music.

"_Wake up in the morning with nothing on my mind._

_Get back in the evening and what do I find?_

_It's a moving grooving finger-breaking yellow thing._

_But this alienating terminating other words that end in 'ating' yellow thing_

_Is all I need to_

_Rock the night away_

_Snap and crack and break all day_

_Every time I close my eyes_

_The yellow thing is in my mind!_"

She then sat back. "It's a lovely tale of when Taryn locked my fingers with that yellow thing in my room."

"You wrote it?" Legolas asked.

Vampirella nodded. "I got bored in school so I wrote it then."

"You were supposed to be doing German preparation." Skywarp pointed out.

She folded her arms. "I got an A didn't I?"

They nearly jumped as they heard a strange buzzing sound coming from inside, before going completely silent. "Fixed it!" Perceptor yelled from inside.

Vampirella looked up at the clear, blue sky. "Now I kinda don't wanna leave."

**(AN:/ Insert overused Shire Theme here) **

"We don't have to." Said Skywarp. "I mean we do need to find out where the mysterious storm came from."

"No we don't." Jazz protested. "Middle Earth isn't our problem. Erm no offense."

"No but it _is _mine." Legolas pointed out.

Vampirella nodded, eagerly. "Yup. So it's our duty to stay and figure out what's happening."

"And we need to find...Mordred?" Legolas reminded them, still unsure of all their names.

"Yes Jazz." Vampirella mocked. "We need to find Mordred!"

The TIC sighed. "Fine."

* * *

**And that's the end of Elves are Antisocial. There will obviously be a follow up, don't know what to call it though**

**See what I'm doing yet? There will be four parts. First one was Exterminate! which was mainly Transformer related. Second one is Elves are Antisocial which is mainly Lord of the Rings related. Third will be mainly Merlin related and fourth will be Dr Who related, while staying throughout as a four way crossover**


End file.
